Friday, October 13, 2006
JUDGE ME NOT
I wonder why people judge...
They judge themselves by the clothes they wear..
The color of their hair...their shoes...how pretty their faces are...
I am a beautiful woman...not a psych..
I am a beautiful woman with a brain...not a psych as well..
I have lived my life in a fear of sorts...
I am perpertually judged..
I have nice clothes..nice shoes...look put together..does it mean that a man should be to afraid to walk up to me even when I am giving him the Greenest of Green lights?
Here goes my story...
I met a young man in a concentration camp i was confined to for three weeks(it was not to bad minus my lung infection and my face breaking out).
We clicked...I am a mature 26 year old(that might be a psych),i dont meet many young men i can talk to without wondering why school fees were paid for them..
I didn't want to push it..I believe people do things when they are in confinement that they might regret...
We saw quite a bit of each other..like we had a choice really..i always teased him..my mistake as it turns out..especially about girls..who he both denied to have liked..
I was amused that he reacted the way he did..Body language said he liked me...lips never moved for vocal chords to say so..
We left confinement and kept in touch..we are about 100kms aways from each other..
Anyway,there was this particular girl who i heard through the grape vine that had the hots for him..i told him..
He said that i shouldn't let her know that i had told him(like i planned to)...
I saw him a couple of times while we were sorting ourselves out at our respective places of work..
My girls teased me that my competition had encrouched finally...I laughed..I mean he had said he wasn't into her...
FAST FORWARD
About two weeks after confinement..he tells me he is dating her...hmmm...
He said things happen that I won't understand..hmmm..
I still have a brain and i understand certain things..
She spends a lot of time in your house...does the boy is mine with people(acts cold when other girls are around)...
So things happen..in plain English..He sleeps with her and as a gentleman starts to date her..
Don't get me wrong o...it can work out o..i think she is a nice girl(i bet she doesn't think the same of me..women don't like me..story for another day)....
My problem is that he admits he likes me,but was to scared he didnt stand a chance?
That pissed me the hell off..you haven't tried and you are beating yourself up...
Well...i know he will read this post..I am glad he will...
You stood a mighty chance..you lost it..do i have to seem like a bimbo in distress?
I hope that through venting my vexation,i will exhale completely and move on..
I am after all still to be judged...
