Anger

I'm very angry.
I am angry with the way we allow society to make stupid choices for us
especially when we know exactly what we want.

I want to go for the Calabar carnival,but my mother feels that society
will say as a single woman I travel too much.Sadly,it'd matter if I
gave a damn about society and their opinion.

I have married friends,some female,some male.My mother believes that I
can never be friends with a man if his wife hasn't approved me.As if
that would stop a man from cheating if he wants to.As if he'll bring
his mistress to his wife to approve.

--
Sent from my mobile device

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-that perches in the soul and sings
the tune without words- and never stops- at all.
Emily Dickinson.

My Christmas day

Merry Christmas!!
I am saying it although I don't feel it in my heart.You cant blame
me,PHCN just but of my electricity the instant i began this post.

I have a feeling I'll blog several times today..being Nigerian has
taken its toll on me..way to much nonsense is up in this country!!

--
Sent from my mobile device

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-that perches in the soul and sings
the tune without words- and never stops- at all.
Emily Dickinson.

Menstrual Issues

The title sounds silly right?Read it first before you pass judgment.
For most women,myself included,being on my period brings about changes
in my body which are caused by my hormones shifting to produce enough
blood just in case I do the right thing and give my body the baby it
yearns for.
Don't act surprised.What do you think a fibroid is? It's your body
trying to fill up it's womb. Sounds disgusting,abi?but na true yarn.
As a ten year old, i yearned for my period.I yearned for my womanhood
to be completed.You wonder what a ten year old knew about being a
woman abi?I was an early bloomer.I had curves at 9 and the tailors
always teased me.By curves,i mean perky breasts and my hips had
come.All that was left was my period.
My Ghanian neighbour,Aunty Edith,was looking forward to my period
coming and told me it would mean I had become a woman.I was eager to
become a woman.
We had our end of year party in Unilag staff school,the last I'd
have.I was eleven and a half years old.That night,a friday in
august,my period came.My sister had taught me how to wear a pad the
previous year,but she was away in boarding school.So,i went to my
father,who is my friend and i told him..he was so embarrassed,but he
went out to buy me a pack of simple sanitary pads.I can still remember
the yellow packaging.
I began this post because i was having menstrual pain,and was hating
my period.I like my period now.If for nothing else,it's a monthly
reminder that I'm still a woman.

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-that perches in the soul and sings
the tune without words- and never stops- at all.
Emily Dickinson.

Curses

What are curses?? Why do people who have or rather who claim to have
belief in The Almighty have fears that curses can approach them.
I once read about an Iranian prophet who said that when someone
believes in Ahuramazda(The Lord),darkness can never approach.
In the Bible,(I'll get the verse later) it was also written,The Light
shineth,and the darkness comprehends it not. So why,why do people
think there are curses flying all over the place.
Buddha said that the true self of a human spirit is reflected in the
environment.Look around,we are PIGS in this country.
Yet,three-quarters of the population sleep in churches or
mosques..claiming to be holy. Fortunately,we can never FOOL Our
Creator.
I had to write this post because i watched penelope,a girl curse with
a snout. The snout vanished the instant she said she liked herself.
I don't believe in curses..i'm rambling too much jare..
It usually isn't the curse that causes problems,it's the power you
give the curse,

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-that perches in the soul and sings
the tune without words- and never stops- at all.
Emily Dickinson.

UNCERTAINTIES

Events occur..
Everyday..
They make us..
Or mar us..
They lead us to decide who is the enemy and who is not.
Before we take decisions,we should be careful that we do not step on
toes so we never need to apologise.
I was insulted.I told someone I love about something I'm passionate about.
I shared my plans for my future.I spoke about the research I had
carried out.All I got in response was "Forget about that.It's a
worthless aspiration".
What gives anyone the right to trample on someone's aspirations??I
believe that channelling one's anger into constructiveness rather than
destructiveness,is the way to go.I've promised myself that I'll make
my dreams become reality.
I'll remind the person when I do.If the person is dead when it comes
through,I'll do something to permanently remind myself that success is
a choice one makes.

Believe in yourself ALWAYS.

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-that perches in the soul and sings
the tune without words- and never stops- at all.
Emily Dickinson.

Poverty

Why are we so ungrateful??

On my way home yesterday,I was pissed I had to take a bus home just
because I am watching my expenditure,yet,I saw so many people walking.

I was too busy to eat,so my mum bought me a malt drink.It was so
refreshing,yet i drank only half of the bottle because I saw the
caloric content:65kcal per 100ml,and the drink was 330ml.I'm not on a
diet,just conscious,yet,I didn't think about the millions of Lagosians
that'll go hungry because they can't afford food.

On my way home yesterday.I stopped at a stall to buy noodles,and a
little boy came to buy onions.When asked what quantity he wanted,he
said 'N5'.The seller grumbled and said her onions cost from N10,the
any said,''my mummy has only N5''. I shuddered.My first thought was
that this family is so poor,but as of today,I know I'm the poor
person.

This boy,at his young age,was appreciative of the fact that his mother
couldn't afford more.At his age,all i did was ask,and recieve. I've
complained I've had to take buses,yet people walk. I was bothered
about the most inconsequential things when people like this boy will
probably be grateful he can go to school.i promise to try to be more
conscious of my blessings,because they are a lot.

Will you be conscious too??

The Woman I NEVER want to become.

I have been talking to two of my friends,both male and both from
totally different backgrounds.

One is a very well to do entrepreneur,while the other is a highly paid
accountant. Apart from having me in common(as their friend),they both
say they don't want to end up married to a certain kind of woman.

I find that unconsciously, mothers have a way of running their mouths
and assuming their children are like flies on the walk,hence not
taking note of what they are conversing about.

One friend finds it difficult to commit to a woman and even without
realising it,it's because his mother has,all his life,lamented about
how her life was ruined by her husband's early demise(I wonder how he
was to blame for being murdered). My friend is scared of being killed
and ruining a woman's life.

The other listened to his mother disrespect his father over and over
again with her siblings,complaining about how he does not make enough
money. Sadly,she leaves out the fact that her husband has always been
supportive of all her scoin-scoin,and believe me, all our mothers have
an excess of it.

My mother has her issues as well,and sometimes,it scares me.My
neighbour,a very beautiful woman has a crazy husband who keeps trying
to kill himself and sons who took to marijuana to dull their minds
from all the madness,still puts up a bold face.My friend's mum keeps
killing herself because she's afraid her husband will leave her. This
man has never been faithful.Has cheated on her for 35years,but she
keeps taking his crap because she is in the,so she thinks she is
better off.

I NEVER want to be the Woman who discusses my husband with people.I
NEVER the Woman who rehashes the past at the drop of a hat.I NEVER
want to be the Woman who must put up a bold face when i'm dying
inside.I NEVER want to be the ego masseuse.

I just want to be myself always and keep ignoring the madness of the world.

Does all this mean I'm not ready for marriage??

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-that perches in the soul and sings
the tune without words- and never stops- at all.
Emily Dickinson.

Nigeria is 48

Our beautiful country is 48 years old today.
You know what they say,a FOOL at 40 is a FOOL for life.I hope in the
case of our country,it'll be a FOOL at a hundred is a FOOL for life.
I spent my whole day watching politicians talk about things we all
know they will not do.It amazes me that after 48years,we are still
foolish..
Anyways,all i want is for my blogfam to pray for the politicians that
sha manage to do the things they claim they will.
Big ups most especially to our very our Babatunde Fashola who has
shown that politicians can keep promises they make to the masses..
And of course for making us happy that our taxes are not paid in vain..
Happy independence..

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-that perches in the soul and sings
the tune without words- and never stops- at all.
Emily Dickinson.

UNEMPLOYED

I have resigned.
I am unemployed.
Yet, I am HAPPY.

pictures

Random Ramblings

I have been wondering about what to write...and still can't think of anything exciting.
So, I will write about anything and everything I can think of.

I saw a man and a woman I will assume is his wife and he was looking at her almost viciously, as if he wanted to hit her but could not because they were in public and I was so irritated. I wondered if he would be happy if his sister was hit by a man.

Also, with a lot of married people, I notice a lot of unnecessary animosity.
"He did this, so I will not forgive him" or "She did this, so I will not forgive her". It amazes me because siblings do and say worse things to each other and forgive each other. Yet, with someone you exchange body fluids with, someone who took vows with, you can be so ready to spoil it...how sad...

Have you noticed how men like women who do not send them and vice versa? Both sexes dont ever want to hear. They just assume the other person is "forming". I know I have made the same mistake. I liked someone so much and I knew he felt the same way, so when he tried to make me understand he couldn't be with me for certain reasons(he wasn't married o), I refused to let go. He has gained my respect by not changing his mind. We both agree that it will not work. I know i have said to so many men that I am not interested and they stayed on...hoping that I would change my mind. I cant lie, i find it so damn irritating. I think I know the difference between Yes and No.

Will post regularyly..I hope...

My trip to Anambra

I travelled to Anambra via Calabar on the third of June.My journey was eventful, starting from the Nigerian Army chartering the bus that Arik provides without any notice and me causing a bit of a scene and being allowed into the bus by some pretty pissed off soldier boys.

I went on a GRUESOME journey the next day to Nanka in Anambra for my friend's dad's funeral. I was very at home because my mum is also from Nanka. A walking distance to my friend's home.

Since i was on leave, i decided to visit the EROSION site of Nigeria.It spans through a coupe of towns. I am only sure of four of them Agulu, Nanka, Ifite and Oko. The worst part of the Erosion is between Nanka and Agulu. The erosion there has been stated to be deeper than the grand canyon in america.

My grandmother said that as a girl, the erosion was quite bad.

From this view, one can see the differnt layers of the earth. It is a totally amazing sight to behold.

This is a part of the wall built to stop the water from going in and causing more damage.

This gutter was built during the Shagari Regime and it has not really helped.

This is at the beginning of a very thick forest. This is my Uncle, Goddy, who was a very wonderful tour guide. I actually saw a very huge monkey and a beautiful antelope. He said that hunters come in with dogs and go into the forest to hunt bushmeat.




The erosion at this end has stopped because it has started showing signs of forestry returning.



Enjoy the pictures.
Grand Canyon.

My hectic weekend

I had a rather hectic weekend. I travelled from Lagos to Port Harcourt, then to Akwa Ibom before heading to Cross River and back to Lagos. Needless to say, I am totally tired.I managed to take a few pictures..thanks to Sony Ericsson. The clarity of this phone is amazing and the phone is only a 2 mega pixel.
The roundabout outside the gates of University of Calabar...Great Malabites...una campus fine small...
The new library in UniCal..My guide left in 1995, and he says it wasn't so new then...LOL..
The Computer Centre..Abeg who has the 411 on this Afrihub? I know OBJ was carrying it on his head..I need the nitty gritty...
The Bridge between Akwa Ibom and Cross River States. The Bridge is over the Itu River, the same one that leads to Cameroun.
A clearer or rather, dirtier view of the Itu River.
A roundabout that I like...the way the Calabar is curved..
Male Hostels in UniCal.
The female hostels...popularly known as Club 8& Club 9
I wanted to buy Crayfish for my mum o..and since I was at the SOURCE,I wondered why not.The women knew I was a "TOURIST" and told me the last price for the one in the bag was 4 grand...the men who were my tour guides said they would die before pay..and i didn't want dead men near me..ok ok,I was being kind of cheap.
Dry and expensive Catfish. That heap cost about 30grand...
I am all against this so called international Airport that they Government of Akwa Ibom is constructing..but Akpabio na fine boy, so i had to take the picture. They have over 500 tractors the bought for their food basin project which they have not done anything about...and we are opening our mouths to complain about food scarcity...nonsense..
I rarely see thatched mud houses.

These are flying boats I saw at the bank of the Itu River via Oron.
They say that it is about thirty minutes to Cameroun, via speed(flying)boats. They smuggle barrels of Petrol through this means...Some people even take mattresses and foodstuffs..

Same River..

The river, supposedly has a beach and that is the beach hotel. The beach is Bahakim Beach and what you can see is part of the market, which is actually on the beach.

The market...where they bring most of the crayfish in Nigeria from.

Death

This is not intended to scare anyone, but it is something everyone has to face...sooner or later...

On Monday, I went out of the office to do something and on my way back, in front of Yoruba Tennis Club, I saw a man on the ground on his back. It has later that I learnt that he had collapsed and had fallen on his back and had not moved. He was eventually moved to the General Hospital on Broad Street. I do not know if he survived.

It got me thinking about Death in general. About how one can drop dead at just any time...DO I hear any "It is not my portion?" I wonder whose it is when people say that. The truth is that the body is just a machine and it can fail one at anytime.

I have been so ill, that I believed that I would die.I think at about that time, I came to terms with death. I lost my Uncle on the 6th of May 2002 and he was the 1st person I consciously loved. I know it is not something anyone can control, so I have come to terms with it...

Crawling Out!!!!

I am so sad that I allow silly things to get to me.

It started in february when Mb(a guy I like) upset me. Then I started going through several other things and then I just closed up. Even sending an email was difficult.

I couldn't even send emails. Fortunately, I am snapping out of it because I know that if i let it go on for much longer, then i will be the loser.

I will try to write more and post as often as I can.

Much love to Supergirl and Afrobabe. I read your blogs, just didn't comment.

I am back...for good...

Me and My Nigeria

I am a Nigerian by Birth and until Death.
I love Nigeria the way a child loves a parent
the love is constantly threatened
by rapists

With all her resources being constantly raped from her and her children
she is unable to love her children the way she knows she ought to.

She has tried to provide unendlessly for her children
but the rapists get to her before those who need what she provides even know.



Okay, okay, so i am really not a poet, but i know you all know what i am talking about. I was on my way home a few days ago and i saw a bus that looks worse (in my opinion) than what murderers should be put in. The painful thing about it, is that it usually multinationals that have this horrid vehicles...

I wish I could do something..For my brothers...for my sisters...for my children and my grandchildren.

I am VOWING....
I will never be QUIET...
I will SPEAK up against the pain I FEEL for my people...
F%&K whoever thinks I should not...
I was given the gift of FREE WILL from my CREATOR...
I will use it...

LAP DANCE

Last friday, my girl Chioma and I decided to hook up at Bungalow's(Akin Adesola VI{noone dey for this nonsense PR work o}) for drinks. We had dinner and drinks before her friends came to hook up with us.

One of the guys decided to stay with us for a long as we were out.He offered to take us anywhere we wanted to go. We checked out a supposed GAY club close by, but of course they claimed it was something else.SILLY PEOPLE.Anyways we went to a couple of places and decided we were too damn old to be there...

My girl then suggested we go to the Strip bar she has been itching to go to since she heard about it. Now I thought the guy would scream at us...after making him go to a supposed GAY bar... well,he said he'd have to stop at the ATM to withdraw money.

We get to the Bar and walk in and notice there are not many people around (can you blame them with the cost of drinks in the place?) We entered a red room with one of those disco lights and a platform with poles.

They came to ask us what we wanted and we said a bottle of wine(15k-imagine that).Anyways the girls didn't show until we had opened the bottle. The girls started coming..it was worse than i expected till the third stripper came up..I am a girl, but DAMMIT, the babe knew how to use the damn pole.

After words, one stripper we named Sister Yellow came up and danced. The most striking thing about these girls is that they look androgynous. They are skinny and lack body..save for sister yellow and the pole worker. I guess this has to do with the "target" market.

Anyways, one young girl walks to us and says "Hi, my name is Sharon, I'll like to dance for you ". My girl and I were like, "Duh,isn't that you job?" She climbs up and all we could comment on was how flat chested she was and we were guessing she would be about 18 or so.

Soon after, a pretty girl comes to talk to us again.."Hi, I am Folashade,I will like to dance for you." We said ok. The guy was there and he was laughing at us because he knew something we did not know..OBVIOUSLY..next thing we saw was the babe was giving us a lap dance..Shock wan KILI me.

Anyways, all na the beginning of me NEVER EVER going to a female strip bar..If anyone knows where I can get a MALE strip club, HOLLER at me.

ACCIDENT

It has been a while since I blogged. My rage is subsiding and so is my pain. It has been very difficult for me not to curse the bike man who abandoned me after the accident.I pray that I can forgive him eventually.

These are some of the pictures. Some are disgusting, but in them, I see the healing powere of honey which my mum applied everyday till I had healed.This is the hospital or rather clinic where i was given first aid. Fear wan kill me die. The initials stand for Harvey Road Health Centre.



This is my right arm on the day after the accident.This was the 14th of November 2007.


This is my left arm. The place with the plaster had a deep cut. The rest of the injuries were bruises.


This is my ankle on the day after the accident, it is swollen and showing the point of trauma slowly.


This is on the 15th of November. Point of trauma is more obvious.


Day Three. Swelling has stabilized. I am on my way to the Hospital to get a cast on my ankle to assist my legs in healing.
My neighbours laugh at me that I still have the strength to wear shoes. Should i go bare feet?pshaw.


This is My leg, with the cast on.


These are randoms pictures and the healing of my wounds.




This is my ankle after the cast has been removed.


I now understand that it is through the Mercy of The Lord we live our lives.