God Bless The World...NO EXCEPTION

I saw this on a car yesterday afternoon while going from Ikoyi to my abode in Akoka and it struck me.
I don't understand or rather, do not want to understand why anyone will ask The Lord to punish anyone. In believing that His Laws are perfect, we should not waste time sending out negative thoughts.
No one is perfect and hence we should understand when people who are also imperfect do stuff to piss us off.I am writing this to remind myself that I am not perfect and neither is anyone around me.
I need help to control the anger i feel for the antagonist of my last post.I dont't want to have to confront her because, I would prefer her to be cold and nasty to me and say all these things instead of being sickly sweet and stabbing me in the back.
I will try not to be nasty...no...I promise not to be nasty.

Who is the Runser of the Runs?

My friend kept something from me.
I am so upset with him.
I think I handled it well because I didn’t throw a tantrum or insult him; I simply told him he had lost my respect…He really hasn’t…I love him (I didn’t say I’m “in” love o)…he has been my friend through this horrid year of NYSC (National Youth Service Corps) a.k.a Now Your Suffering Continues.

I am just upset he didn’t tell me especially since he knew that me and the girl didn’t have a good relationship which started I guess when he started sleeping/dating her.
Now this same girl started dating another friend of mine that I like a lot.

Breakdown
She was dating OS and then dating SY and I have seen her with at least two other guys. I didn’t know about her and OS so I told him I didn’t like how she has become and generally used to tell him what I had noticed. I find it unbelievable because her ex boyfriend came and stayed over and he didn’t even show any signs of jealousy, at least to me.

Now they’ve both broken up and he has come clean with me after telling me what he said to her, I was annoyed he called her a slut and insulted that she said he should run to his school mother, ME, to console him.
She knows I am a weak spot for him…I am still mad at him…because he gave her opportunity to disrespect me for no reason.

I wonder why people are so petty when it comes to break ups. I like to be nice during break ups…especially if I am the dumped one…what is the point of being so upset and what is the point of not being friends afterwards? What a waste of time spent.

The girl has a habit of telling the guys not to tell anyone because she wants to keep it to herself so that people will not gossip about her. Yet it turns out she wants it quiet so that her housemates will not know her true color…she is an under G queen…abi I lie?

Or as a friend of mine says, many men dey put water for her fridge.

Punishment for Beastiality

I usually say I don't want to judge.
However, I will judge.What makes a man want to have carnal knowledge of a goat?
It is so maga disgusting.
I a sad that we couldn't have asked ROSE if CHARLES maltreated her during the course ot the "marriage".We know she cheated on him because she bore him a child which was a complete goat.I am not trying to be funny here o.I am totally disgusted

The Daddy Story.

I met Mr Nice Nose a while ago and we clicked. He is a Very hilarious fellow(nothing's up,I like Kabir). Anyways, I had to go to Lagos to make something ASAP, so he came to get me early on Wednesday morning to go have breakfast(we chicks are so cheap that some of us will gel because a guy pays you 5kobo attention).
Anyways, during breakfast, I said to him that if i were his mother, i would have been flogging him on a regular basis because he is still so full of mischief at this age.
He told me that he was punished several times by his folks, but the worst punishment was for when he was banished from civilization to his village for stealing 5grand from his parents(this was in the early 90s). He said he was to supervise the workers who were building his dad's house in the village.
He, of course kept himself busy by toasting the VILLAGE BELLE, who gelled(who nno like city boy?) He convinced her to come to his house on a sunday when they were sure everyone had gone to church. So that sunday morning, he told his grandmum that she was delaying him and left her to go to "church". He had left a window open so that he and his village belle could gain entry into the house.
The most amusing thing about the whole story was that when the girl was climaxing, she started screaming, DADDY, DADDY, A CHOM E ME RELEASE(daddy,daddy, I want to release.
I was so amused because he said that for years he was scared of being with any woman and that was the scariest thing that happened to him.

TIRED

I am so tired.
I am tired of PHCN formerly known as NEPA never providing me with electricity.
I am tired with PDP trying to make Nigeria a one-party state.
I am tired of people coming to give me some bull shit mandate of how they will help Nigeria when all they want to do is better enrich their pockets.
Why else would they rig if they had clean mandates?
I read in a Christian Magazine today, one published by The Apostolic Faith about how people use outward things to try to fool people into believing they are something they are not. We have a lot of those in my beloved country Nigeria.
F*&King HYPOCRICTES.
I wonder how we will change and move this country forward. I am beginning to look into not settling down in a country that is so unstable and yet pretends to be so stable.
My Head of State, Olusegun Obasanjo a.k.a Olisie ego Obulu sonjo, voted and said the elections thus far had been free and fair. At what time of the morning? And with all his armed officials clearing the way for him? Abeg o.
I stood on a frigging queue for how many hours?
In my home state, only one place has been said to have actually voted, yet, results have been announced and a governor to be named.
I AM SO TIRED.
Should I be like my monkeys, see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil?
Maybe I should join the Niger Delta Youths to kill some of them. Don’t you think?

Electoral Fraud

Yesterday, i stood in the sun and in the rain to vote.
I waited for a whole four hours. From past noon till past four p.m to exercise my civic duty.
it was so annoying, but I refused to budge because I didn't want a situation where I know my conscience will disturb me for the next four years because I let an idiot get sworn in.
I think they wanted to test our patience.So that when those with no patience get tired, they will use their votes. Touts were there shouting party slogans and insulting each other.
I guess mine is all good because I voted.
My girl in the Ajah Axis, stood on the queue only to be told at 5 p.m that she had voted. She threw a fit. They used her vote for electoral fraud.the sad thing about all this is that the moron that is helping to rig, never gets a dime out of the plenty money these people steal. they just get some change and they feel fulfilled. It has to be noted that poverty has messed up this country big time.
I was forced to question the way some people bring up their children when they refused to follow simple instructions.
May The Lord Deliver Nigeria from Nigerians.

ELECTIONS

Today is the Gubernatorial elections in Nigeria.
I am on my way out to vote.
i am voting for Jimi Agbaje.
i am carrying out my civic Duty.
i hope you are dong the same as well.

For Love Or For Tribe?

This is the title of an article I read in TRUE LOVE (the publication with Ashionye as the cover girl).
It is the article before Segun Johnson’s article. The writer wrote about how most Nigerians marry for one’s tribe and not for love and how society raises an eyebrow at people who marry out of their ethnic groups.
I am an Ibo girl and I know how within the Ibo tribe, people go on and on about how people from Nnewi are somehow, and how people from Awka and Igboukwu are fetish.
I have dated only two Ibo men. Kay (who is actually Delta), and Chu who is from Mbaise and see how well those turned out.
I am told on and on about how Delta men cheat and maltreat their men. In Chu’s case, it is a bit sad (apart from him not knowing what/who he wanted till he lost me), my first cousin married an Mbaise man who battered her for almost twenty years till he threw her out and her eyes cleared (how would she have seen sef, her eyes were probably swollen).
I know many people from different tribes and I am amazed at the tribalism prevalent in the young people. For instance, Tiv people won’t marry Jukun for some stupid reason that I can’t remember.
I am tired of all the crap I hear about tribe. Does my being Ibo make me better than a Kanuri girl? Please people should get over their bullshit already.
I plan to be with someone for love and not for tribe. I will sooner learn his language than be in a loveless relationship.

For Love of One's Self

I have found that I love for one’s self is important to make it in even the day to day activities that one has to carry out.
Now, when one loves herself, she takes care of everything concerning herself and her environs.
Love transcends all. When you love someone and the person loves you back genuinely, you have this urge to look your absolute best for him and to let herself radiate in that love.

Now when one hates herself, she stays in abusive relationships under the guise of love. She allows herself to wallow in self pity. To look horrid and still manage to fool herself that that is love.

I love myself. I am not a Narcissist. Narcissism is not bad if it will make sure that you don’t let your self get abused.

I am a
NARCISSIST. I love MYSELF.

MEN YET AGAIN

I have read so may people's blogs with what they want from men. These one that has hit home the most is what yellow ibo girl said.
Kabir has nice teeth, and as a muslim is clean.
Girl, apart from being a yellow ibo girl too, we seem to be on the same page, except for the blue eyes and all that(not rascist but, once you go black, you can never go back).

Cupid? Not Yet

I am having serious thoughts about changing my name.
My new name will be Olivia Twist.
Because like Oliver Twist, I can never get enough.
Enough of what you may ask, but it is more like enough of who.
I am “in like”.
I am in like with my friend Kabir (I always thought he was unbelievably sexy).
I am a CYNIC…and for the 1st time since Kay En U, I am having a “relationship” (in quotation marks because we are taking it a day at a time).
It feels good to like someone who u can have conversation with. The only hitch to the “relationship”, is distance, however, I know it is nothing if we both really stay “in like”.
I kind of wish I could put his picture up so EVERYONE can see how unbelievably sexy he is (I’m not a very jealous person, I just don’t share).
I know I like him because I have taken note of everything. He has this scar on his knee (boys will be boys). He has a small but visible scar on his face, his eyebrows are perfectly shaped and he has lovely teeth (well set, like mine).
We’ll see how it goes.I really like him.

My Life Path Number

Your Life Path Number is 22

Your purpose in life is to use your power for good Of all the life paths, yours has the most innate power. Your power lies in your vision, and you must recruit others to help you in this vision. You are able to be a great idealist, but you still have the practicality to get things done. In love, you tend to be a big romantic - but you also tend to keep your distance. You have a lot of potential, and it's sometimes hard to live up to. Sometimes you just feel like slipping into obscurity and doing nothing. You tend to be prone to dramatic emotions, until you step back and look at things honestly.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

strange title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Baroness Enuka the Larger of Wallop upon Deane Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Forgiveness

My friend wrote this...I feel for her...And this is a PICASSO...

HE MADE LOVE TO ME…
NOT JUST PHYSICALLY…
MY CELLS REACTED TO HIS TOUCH…
TO HIS VOICE…I KNEW HE WAS FOR REAL…
WE SPENT EVERY SECOND WE COULD AFFORD TO SPEND TOGETHER…
HE WAS MY LIFE AND I WAS HIS…
TOTALLY HIS…
AND HE WAS MINE AS WELL…TOTALLY MINE…
WE MADE A MISTAKE IN THE THREOS OF PASSION…
WE IGNORED THE USE OF THAT LITTLE RUBBER…
THAT LITTLE BIT OF RUBBER THAT WRECKED OUR RELATIONSHIP…

I WAS A WEEK LATE…
I KNEW I WAS PREGNANT…
HE STOOD BY ME…CLEANED MY TEARS…PROMISED TO BE WITH ME…
ASKED ME FOR A LITTLE TIME TO SORT OUT A FEW THINGS…
I WAITED…HE SAID NOTHING…
HE DOESN’T SAY MUCH WHEN HE IS THINKING…
I WAITED…WEEKS PASSED…THE SILENCE WAS KILLING ME…
I SAW HIM EVERY SINGLE DAY…WE TALKED ABOUT EVERYTHING…
SAVE OUR BABY GROWING IN MY WOMB…

ONE MORNING, AFTER JOGGING, I TOOK A BATH AND A TAXI…
I WENT TO THE ISLAND AND I DID IT…I HAD AN ABORTION…
I CRIED SO HARD THAT THE DOCTOR MADE ME CALL HIM…
I HAD PLANNED TO SAY THAT MY PERIOD JUST SHOWED…
HE CAME AND CALLED HIS BOSS AND SAID HE NEEDED THE DAY OFF…
THAT I WAS VERY ILL…

HE CRIED…HE CRIED…HE ASKED ME WHY I DIDN’T GIVE HIM TIME…
HE HAD ASKED FOR TIME…
HE HAD PROMISED TO BE WITH ME NO MATTER WHAT…
I ASKED HIM TO PUT HIMSELF IN MY SHOES…
FOUR WEEKS…I WAS SCARED TO DEATH…AND HE HAD SAID NOTHING…
HE CRIED…AND CRIED AND BROUGHT OUT AN ENVELOPE…

THE ENVELOPE THAT MADE ME REALISE I DIDN’T DESERVE HIS LOVE…
HE HAD SOLD ALL THE SHARES HE HAD…EVERYTHING…
ALL LIQUID…
SO HE COULD PRESSURIZE OUR FAMILIES…
INTO HAVING A FAST WEDDING BECAUSE HE HAD PROMISED…
TO LOVE ME FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE…
I WEPT FOR NOT TRUSTING HIM…
I WEPT FOR MY LOST CHILD…OUR LOST CHILD…
HE LEFT ME…
FOUR MONTHS LATER…

SEPTEMBER 30TH…
THE DAY I MURDERED MY CHILD AND OUR LOVE…
I SEE A CHILD…
I CAN’T MAKE OUT IF IT IS A BOY OR GIRL…
JUST A CHILD…
WITH HIS LISP…
AND MY NOSE…

IT HAS TAKEN ME FIVE YEARS TO FORGIVE MYSELF…
TO FORGIVE HIM…
WE WERE YOUNG…
FAR TOO YOUNG TO BE SO IN LOVE…

I KNOW HE IS READING YOUR BLOG…
I KNOW HE KNOWS IT’S ME…
I KNOW HE STILL LOVES ME…
HE KNOWS I STILL LOVE HIM…

FORGIVE ME…FORGIVE ME…FORGIVE ME…

JUDGE ME NOT

Friday, October 13, 2006
JUDGE ME NOT
I wonder why people judge...
They judge themselves by the clothes they wear..
The color of their hair...their shoes...how pretty their faces are...
I am a beautiful woman...not a psych..
I am a beautiful woman with a brain...not a psych as well..
I have lived my life in a fear of sorts...
I am perpertually judged..
I have nice clothes..nice shoes...look put together..does it mean that a man should be to afraid to walk up to me even when I am giving him the Greenest of Green lights?
Here goes my story...
I met a young man in a concentration camp i was confined to for three weeks(it was not to bad minus my lung infection and my face breaking out).
We clicked...I am a mature 26 year old(that might be a psych),i dont meet many young men i can talk to without wondering why school fees were paid for them..
I didn't want to push it..I believe people do things when they are in confinement that they might regret...
We saw quite a bit of each other..like we had a choice really..i always teased him..my mistake as it turns out..especially about girls..who he both denied to have liked..
I was amused that he reacted the way he did..Body language said he liked me...lips never moved for vocal chords to say so..
We left confinement and kept in touch..we are about 100kms aways from each other..
Anyway,there was this particular girl who i heard through the grape vine that had the hots for him..i told him..
He said that i shouldn't let her know that i had told him(like i planned to)...
I saw him a couple of times while we were sorting ourselves out at our respective places of work..
My girls teased me that my competition had encrouched finally...I laughed..I mean he had said he wasn't into her...

FAST FORWARD
About two weeks after confinement..he tells me he is dating her...hmmm...
He said things happen that I won't understand..hmmm..
I still have a brain and i understand certain things..
She spends a lot of time in your house...does the boy is mine with people(acts cold when other girls are around)...
So things happen..in plain English..He sleeps with her and as a gentleman starts to date her..
Don't get me wrong o...it can work out o..i think she is a nice girl(i bet she doesn't think the same of me..women don't like me..story for another day)....
My problem is that he admits he likes me,but was to scared he didnt stand a chance?
That pissed me the hell off..you haven't tried and you are beating yourself up...
Well...i know he will read this post..I am glad he will...
You stood a mighty chance..you lost it..do i have to seem like a bimbo in distress?
I hope that through venting my vexation,i will exhale completely and move on..
I am after all still to be judged...

The Heart of the Matter

Thursday, October 19, 2006
The Heart Of The Matter
Hey people..this is my new favorite song..i listened to it courtesy of a great girl..DORIS OGALE
it made me think..and realise we don't have to hold on to stuff..
it also helped me when my girl told me she ran into my ex at Silverbird with a babe..oh well...it is expected
It was originally done by DON HENLEY

The Heart Of The Matter
I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understandAll the things I thought I knew,
I'm learning againI've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the MatterBut my will gets weakAnd my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgivenessForgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertainT
here's a yearning undefined...
People filled with rageWe all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill,
I guessPride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us,
Doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you,
BabyThe more I know, the less I understandAll the things I thought I figured out,
I have to learn againI've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgivenessForgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you inside

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
ForgivenessEven if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weakAnd the ashes will scatterSo I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

To Serve and Protect with Integrity

I wrote this post on Nov. 14th 2006.


This happened between the hours of 3:15p.m and 6p.m on Friday 10th November 2006…
Anyone who resides in Nigeria will know that this phrase describes d biggest joke of our economy… THE NIGERIA POLICE…
They are the stupidest bunch of people put together in the entire country…
Their main goal is to harass the citizenry of the country SHAMELESSLY…
In the Police Force in my dear country Nigeria, we have the MOPOL (mobile police)….
Now don’t get me wrong o…they are not all fools, but a large majority are…
I was traveling to Benin for a friends’ wedding…I was in a vehicle with two lieutenants of The Nigerian army…
We were in the middle of nowhere (I later found out that it is just before OWENA in ONDO state)…
We were approaching a checkpoint (most of them are illegal)…when a MOPOL pointed his gun at us…
Both lieutenants reprimanded him and told him it was enough to court marshal him if he was in the Military…
The idiot started screaming and then pointed the gun at OKPOSEN and cocked it…
He then raised it slightly above Okposen’s head and shot….
My heart skipped several beats….
He then pointed the gun at Okposen’s stomach and threatened to kill him and line him up as a thief…
He shouted “you know see say eyes dey red”? While he shot…
They threatened to take us to their station and we agreed…
One of the men came to beg us… he knew they had pushed their luck as far as they could…
They insulted us all thoroughly and even threatened to slap me…
I instantly reminded them that it is against the laws of Nigeria to hit anyone with glasses…
The next thing we saw, they jumped into their S.U.V (sports utility vehicle commonly called a JEEP in 9ja) and sped off…
I had called an uncle of mine who is a commissioner of police in Nigeria, he advised me to take down their vehicle number because they were wearing bullet proofs…and I couldn’t get their identification numbers….
We followed them and lost them, but decided to get to the Area Command where we knew they came from…
They denied having fired..and denied that they brought out a crate of Gulder(an alcoholic beverage) from the bush before they ran off…
The bastard that shot at Okposen called him SIR and I almost died because of the irony…
This is only one of the many incidences of corruption that the police commit.
How can we go through life that way?
It is disgusting that they are so unstable yet are allowed to man our roads and put us all in danger…
How may I ask have they protected or served my motherland with integrity?
By cocking his gun?
Or by shooting?
Or threatening to kill and line Okposen up as a thief….

BLACK AND PROUD

I wrote this on Nov. 28,2006.


I am half amused at the way the “western culture” has seeped into ours and left us in my opinion half stupid…
I am not saying that all the influences received are bad, I am only saying that we should be able to tell which is good and which is bad…
I love my hair for instance…I cut it off a while ago and grew it natural…my hair is truly African…beautiful with really tight curls…although I have now relaxed it with chemicals, it doesn’t make my natural hair ugly…
I am a very very curvy black woman…with plenty hips and a nice big bottom (as if I can see it)…I have a full bust and a rounded tummy…I look nice in clothes and I feel absolutely gorgeous in my native wear or any African print…
Now I am considered to be an OROBO (fat) and I am told by health experts that I must weigh 60 kilos in order to be healthy…plus or minus that will mean being a size 10...hmmm…where will my breasts go? or my hips?
When I get pregnant, my beautiful hips will hold and love my baby…when I get into labour, it will expand beautifully to give my baby space to struggle into this world…yet I am told that the only way to be attractive is to lose my hips…
And I wonder….
How will my body cradle my child? How will my cervix expand enough? How will my breasts be?
I am not saying that it is bad to be LEPA (slim), I am saying that every woman has a right to be different…
I have never and hopefully will never be termed as vulgar in the way I dress; my breasts are well hidden, and yet can be seen…
All in all, do I have to be like Victoria Beckham to be termed as beautiful? She looks good in her own way, but I prefer Patti LaBelle, she is a curvaceous black chick…
I do not plan to have a caesarian section to have my baby with my womb accessed via bikini cut so that I can show my body off to all and sundry in my bikini…
I want to push and feel the full impact of labour…
I want to fill my clothes and look stunning when I step out…
I never want to wear Banana Republic’s size 0 jeans (tufiakwa)…
I love my size 16 jeans…
I love my breasts…
I love my hips…
I love myself…
Period

ARE WE TRULY ALL BIMBOS?

I had a Previous Blog. Pretty Private. I am Deleting it, so i am moving the posts i liked.


People na wa o….
The longer I live the more I believe that Nigerian women are losing substance…
You meet a beautiful girl…when you try to have a conversation with her, you will be amazed at the extent of her extremely low IQ….
A friend told me that his niece had written WAEC (west African examination council) exams so many times that he was worried that she had no brain. Till he found her scrapbook that had about 500 songs…now we know why she is busy…I mean the lyrics of songs are far more important than her degree…
I look around and all I see are young women trying to look like the chicks in magazines with the LV bags and the Chanel frames and it makes me wonder…is that all there is to life? Or can there possibly be more to MAC powders and makeup?
Now do not get me wrong at all o…I like make up…I like nice things…but that is not all there is to this life…I expect more, so give more…or maybe I am just nonchalant because The Good Lord Created me Beautiful…I have never had cause to bleach my skin to look more attractive…or go naked to get a man’s attention…I am grateful for my lifestyle…even if it a bit lackadaisical…if we are all this dumb(women),then I wonder what kind of human souls we will attract when we get pregnant…or should I pass a bit of the blame to men who encourage women to be airheads? Hmmm…food for thought…
I always remember a song when I feel so sorry for the moral decadence in the world…I don’t know who wrote or sang it. I will try to find out….
Here it goes (anyone who love coca cola adverts like me must know it o)
I’ll like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love…
Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow white turtle doves…
This is all I remember…
Laters….

I WONDER

I wonder how life would have been if I had been born in a different family…
I wonder how life would have been I was born in a different country...
I wonder how life would have been if I had different siblings...

I wonder how life would have been if I had been born with a health defect…
I wonder what life would have been if I had graduated at the right time…
I wonder what life would have been if I had a baby at 22…

I wonder how life would have been if I had married a 17…
I wonder how life would be if no one ever had an abortion…
I wonder how life would have been if I had been able to love the same man for the rest of my life...

I wonder how life would be if no one ever broke someone’s heart…
I wonder what life would be if everyone was loved back by the person he/she loved…
I wonder how life would be if everyone lived in accordance with the laws of The Lord…
I wonder…don’t you?