My Broken Malleolus

I am a tad impatient by nature. I dislike going late to my appointments, I dislike being kept waiting. This imaptience has gotten me into a situation which i have had to wait out for 4 weeks thus far and I have till the 28th of December to bear it.

I took a bike on the 13th of November at about 7:10 a.m, after my 2 year old niece had wept profusely for no reason at all as i left for work that tuesday morning. about 3 minutes after that, my bike man clashed with another bike man and i fell of the bike. While they were saving themselves(the bike men), the bikes fell on my ankle and fractured my right medial malleolus.

I just began placing that foot on the floor after a full month of hanging it and hobbling around on crutches. I am relieved to regain use of that foot although I have to learn to walk again.

Will post pictures of my wounds and cast asap!!!

Anambra and Enugu

I went on an official trip to Awka. I was staying in Enugu and shuttling to and fro. The Famous Udi hills with the coal mines are beautiful. There are villages on the hills..Can you imagine the view they have? It must be wonderful. A friend of mine is from Enugu-Ngwo which is the town from where the state derived its name. He says his school was on the highest hill in Udi. I love the idea of being on top of the world.

Anyway, I went to the Anambra State house and talked to the Deputy Governor(official stuff). Of course we deviated and talked about how our people don't go to school and how depressing we are making politics in the state...blah blah blah.

Anyway, I was given an official car and a driver to help me get around Awka (my jazz man is working miracles..LOL). I made her take a picture with me and she laughed very hard and obliged me.

So that is me with my state's deputy state governor, Dame Virgy Etiaba, who always wears hats. And the other is the gate leading to the State house.

The Divide

I was told by a man that there is a line between being a Wife and a Girlfriend.
He says I am a Girlfriend.
His reasons:
I go out without telling him where exactly I am going.
I talk to too many men.
I do not reassure him of his position in my life.
He says he is a husband.
He doesn't tell me where he is going.
He introduced me as his woman...that should make me feel special...yet it doesn't.
I will be a wife if i pretend that i am going somewhere and I go elsewhere.
I am a wife if i tell him everytime he feels he needs to hear that I love that I do and not cheat on him.
How can I be with a man who will not trust me?
AIN"T MA FAULT THAT I'M PRETTY....

My October

October is the most eventful month thus far...
I started a relationship that ended as quickly as it started (if I can say it started).
I started work somewhere that I am enjoying the environment and the people.
My friend, Zakari brought me DISTRACTION in form of a corky Hausa man...Corky in an amusing way...

This month, i discovered that there is a thin line between being a girlfriend and being a wife...i am still on the girlfriend side of the divide. I am also making conscious decisions this month that will affect my entire future and my life and I am wondering why I never thought like that before.

My October, is the birth of good things to come...It is the beginning of a new cycle...a cycle that will bring good things...to me and all those around me...AMEN!!!

Me, My blog, My demons

I am ill...
I am being given grief from the most unexpected source.
I hate drugs,but I have no choice.

My blog reflects how I feel...what I feel...my blog is my right to free speech(free typing).My blog is my space to say what I feel like saying..my blog holds my feelings, my hopes, my aspirations...

My blog has my ups and downs...my blog has my thoughts, happy and sad...my blog has me.

Dont visit it if you know you will try to use it to give me grief...I have the right to say what I want to say.

IF YOU DONT LIKE IT...FUCK OFF!!!

My October thus far!!!

With my friend and I setting my sister up with a guy she claims is kinda mad and yet still goes out with him and sends marathon sms with. My older sister's birthday and her preparing to get married (saving my youngest brother the problem of introducing one extra person as his spinster, sorry, sister)my friend's thirtieth and his treating his family and two friends to Italian(I am bush, so I prefer Mr. Biggs..whatever), I am having quiet an interesting month...

I started seeing someone...He is a great laugh...A bit possessive, but not bad enough for me to think that he will pour acid on me...It feels good to know that someone, somewhere is loving you...

The thing is that he is my ex boyfriend's friend.

I have two sisters...their names are Libra and Aqua girl and a neighbour, Sexy. Libra thinks that it is okay for me to see this guy despite the drama that can come about it. Aqua doesn't think I should see him at all, he is friends with my ex who I have drama and history with. Sexy thinks I should, that in fact if I don't, "na from village them take cook me".

We have been on a couple of dates and I like him..He is very nice to me and really what is the worst that can happen? That the relationship will not end up in marriage. And their friends will label me as the girl that was passed between friends...e go pass? dem go beat me? NO!!!!!

We have talked about it because he knows it can put a strain on their friendship, his and my ex. He lost his father a few months ago and my ex boyfriend's mother went with my current's mum to the village...That is to show you how close the families are...

We are willing to try...I am willing to damn what people say...

I have met part of his family...I get along with his brother, who I get to see quite a bit because they are very close.

random ramblings

I am so sorry that I am haven't been updating...
these are the links from my girls blog...
Akuko 1
Akuko 2
Akuko 3
Like I said earlier, she is a better story teller, so read and enjoy.

I got a job, and I know I will enjoy it..Farafina Publishers.

Ghana

Na wa for being jobless. I am getting unhappy with just sitting at home. I know it is crazy to be so optimistic, I feel like I will soon be too busy to think and to be honest, that I s how busy I want to be. I need to escape from my crazy thoughts.

To the more exciting news.Adaure and I took a crazy spontaneous road trip to Ghana. It was a good bonding period for both of us. I will let you read the story on her blog because she has by far a more photographic mind, and as a journalist, she likes to write.

I needed the trip. To clear my head. It was exhilarating. I was so ashamed of the look of my country. We went to a buka, it was so bloody clean, not like naija bukas…the gutters were clean, the markets sane and the people receptive.

Nigerians are receptive o, don’t get me wrong. The problem we have is lack of cleanliness and honesty. We did the tourist thing and took a lot of pictures. We went clubbing once to Cinderellas, and Aphrodisiac on the night we arrived. Then we went to the Kwame Nkrumah museum (I doubt if there is any Head of state in Nigeria we will do what they have done for him).

All in all, we had fun…we met some nice Nigerians and they were very nice and friendly and fun to be around.

P.S. was waiting for her to write a post, will put up a link when she finally does.
kwame Nkrumah's Grave
The museum(they have the mirror he used in university{crazy})
Fathia Nkrumah's grave
Adaure and I with the woman who cooked the Banku(Fermented corn and cassava) we ate, it is like nri oka, just fermented.
Addy giving a thumbs up for the meal
NAIJA BORDER
Benin-Togo Border
Stuck holding a mask
Ghana's independence Square
Kwame Nkrumah's Statue

More NYSC pics

These are some more pictures that I took on my Passing Out Parade...
Unfortunately, I haven't been able to upload more.
so for those who are wondering who I am like Nyemoni(who is hiding,by the way) and Ugo...there I am...Stuck.
Ozaveshe and Damie
Amaka and Stuck
Kemi, Doris, Amaka, Stuck and Ize
Busola and Tolu
Damie and Gina

NYSC

I am grateful to The Lord that my year of "service" to my country has ended.
I made some wonderful friends and I know that we all learnt something from each other.
I managed to take some pictures on the Passing Out Parade day. The highlight of the day was that OGD (Otunba Gbanga Daniels) came.

These are my friends. Ijeoma,Toyin, Sulaimon and Tosin.

Tosin, Kemi and Doris.

Will post more soon...my connection is an excuse...

Friends

I took a trip to Port Harcourt. For Little reasons and for big reasons. The trip came at a good time for me. I had to go do things that will in one way or another change my life. I stayed with my cousin in Trans Amadi. I spent time with Kabir over the weekend, and during that time, we both decided that we both are not on the same page.
I don't feel bad, in fact, I am happy because we retained our friendship. I can't imagine him not being my friend. I'll miss him, and I won't. I learnt a lesson, and it will help me on.
My friends are important to me, just like I hope I am important to them.
Pamela wrote something in her blog, and it is as if she did that for me.
I also went to Sparkle's page, and this touched me.

Eagles

I had a Hilarious experience on Thursday evening.
A girl in my house, who allegedly graduated with a second class upper, had a test in one of the prestigious banks in Nigeria. she was excited and we were glad that she was called for the test. This is the conversation that ensued when I got home from work and she was back from the test.
Runser: Stuck, Welcome o(in an unmistakenable benin accent).
Stuck: Runs, how now? How did the test go?
Runser: It was hard o...I sha tried my best.
Stuck: Then you have nothing to worry about.
At this point, my Warri housemate walks in.
Warri: Ah! Future banker! how the test na? i hope say you write am well well o.
Runser: I try o. The test hard no be small o.
Warri: Sho! no worry, you don pass am.
Runser: Amen o.
Warri: which kain question dem ask una sef.
Runser: E plenty well well, but the one wey worry me pass na the one wey dem ask if Eagle na bird or reptile. I just decide choose Bird o.

At this point, My eyes are wide open
I couldn't believe my ears...
A bird or a reptile? I said my good bye very quickly and ran to my room and laughed my head off. Warri knew this was what I was doing and came to say that it is a mistake that anyone can make. I would have agreed o...for the sake of peace, but then, we all did social studies...and the bird on the Nigerian COAT OF ARMS is what? AN EAGLE.

Prostitution

I went out with a couple of friends of mine on Friday night.
I had a great time; nothing does it for me like great music and good company.
I had a swell time.
I went back on Saturday to meet my friend there for a drink. I took a cab from my sister's house in Ikoyi, when I got to the bar, I instructed the Cab Driver (the man looked like he was knocking 80 years o) to let me alight there. Then a valet comes and this conversation ensues
Valet: U no fit park here
Stuck: Why?
Valet: Dem talk say make we no gre make pesin park here
Stuck: I am going into the bar
Valet: E no consin me..abeg commot
(at this point, the mugu is blocking the door so i cant open it)
Cab Driver: My daughter let me move forward
As the Driver moves, the Valet under his breath mutters "FUCKER". My brain sparks. I pay the cab driver calmly and start to walk back.
As I walk back, the guy is still there looking at me and eyeing me.
Meanwhile, my "date" is seating in his car, talking on his phone.
Stuck: Who did you call a "FUCKER"
Valet: (rudely)wetin?
Stuck: You just called me a Fucker
Valet: Abeg, you wan park I no gre na why you dey shout?
Stuck: You called me a fucker. How dare you call me a FUCKER? I don’t blame you; I blame the girls who come here to belittle themselves in front of idiots like you.
Valet: Na you sabi, abeg comot.
Stuck: How dare you? (as my anger soars, I jack the fool…I know I know…I can be a tout. It is what you get when you have too many men around you).
At this point, one of the bouncers has come out to see what the commotion is about, and recognizes me.
Bouncer: Ah! Madam, sorry o…wetin dey happen
Stuck: This idiot just called me a FUCKER and had the effrontery to be rude…
(For some reason, my English is Flawless when I am angry, Pidgin no dey gre flow).
My date comes out of his car and is shocked to see me in this position.
Nkrumah: What’s wrong?
Stuck: Imagine o, this idiot just called me a fucker.
Nkrumah: WHAT! (He pulls me away and into the car till I calm down).
Fastforward a few minutes and we are walking into the bar…
Valet: Sorry Ma
Bouncer: Sorry Ma
Waiters/Waitresses: Sorry Ma
Stuck: (no answer)
Nkrumah: Please ask Mr K (the Bar owner) that I need to see him right away. We walk in and get a table and a waitress who had served us the previous night comes up to the table.
Waitress: Good Evening sir, Good Evening Ma, Thank you for yesterday o (you know Yoruba people can say thank you for ten years for something). Aunty, Abeg no vex, na the fault of all these young girls wey dey here dey sell their body, abeg no vex.
I like this girl, when we walked into the Bar on Friday, she appealed to me. Unlike the other Waitresses who size up the customers, she runs around…needless to say, Nkrumah is a hell of a good tipper; the Valet just didn’t know I was his date.
Mr. K comes and he and Nkrumah exchange pleasantries.
Mr. K: Hello Madam, how are you?
Stuck: (I look at Nkrumah)
Nkrumah: Weren’t you told that one of you employees just called Stuck a Fucker?
Mr. K: (feigning disbelief) no o, how can? (Turns and says to a waiter in rapid Yoruba to call the Valet).
Valet: (Prostrates as he reaches our table)
Stuck: Please, I don’t want him here. I don’t want his apologies.
Mr. K: Haba Madam! Please let us apologise in fact I will serve you anything you want,on the house (I should ve asked for Moet).
Stuck: You don’t seem to understand that the fault is yours, Mr. K and not his. You let prostitutes hang out in your bar and hence any woman who walks in is treated as such…
Mr. K: No o, I don’t let prostitutes in o…they come and there is no way of stopping them…
Stuck: Really, so you would rather risk the chance of losing your customers?
Mr. K: I would rather sack the Valet.
Stuck: Why?
Mr. K: he caused all this.
Stuck: He didn’t. You did by letting prostitutes in here.
Stuck: (to Nkrumah) Let’s go. (He gets his keys and shakes Mr. K)
I walk out and I didn’t look back. Nkrumah just called me and said Mr. K fired the Valet.
I don’t blame the Valet, I blame women for belittling themselves. There is no excuse for prostitution…None at all.

My response to The Query

Other things have happened since I got the bloody QUERY,I will fill you guys in ASAP.
RE: ABSENCE FROM DUTY
I refer to your memo Ref: BIFF and wish to comment as follows:

I will like to note that you have not on several occasions counselled me. You have threatened me, once.

On the 29th of June, I fell ill and the illness did not abate up till the 8th of June, 2007. I came to work on the 5th of June in order to get my clearance letter and clear at the NYSC office.

Dr.(Mrs.) babe, Mr secretary and Miss Black Beauty were well aware of the situation and I am sure they had informed you. I would have contacted the Director of CENFED; however, I do not have his phone number.

I did not answer your query on the 8th because I do not work on that day due to the fact that I go for my NYSC community development. I am sure you are quite aware of that. I am also embarrassed that in a work environment such as this one, things have to get petty.

I have to note that since the day you resumed, you have tried to laud some kind of power over me, which I think is a bit insulting. My being a corps member does not make me less of a human being and does not mean that I will accept a condescending behaviour from anyone. I have had no problems with anyone I have worked with till you came to COLMANS. I will appreciate it if you let me know what problem you have with me.

ANGRY GIRL

My Real Query

This is the Query I was given. The first one is the one he wanted to send to the Registrar, but was stopped. I will post my response in the next post.
I would have done this earlier, but my access is TERRIBLE.

ABSENCE FROM DUTY

You will recall that I have on several occasions, counselled you against your carefree attitudes to work.

It is disheartening to note that you unilaterally absented yourself from work for two days (6th and 7th June 2007) without recourse to the Director of CENFED.

You are, therefore, to show cause why you should not be sanctioned for your unhealthy attitude s to work.

Your response should reach the undersigned before the close of work on Friday, 8th June, 2007.




ASSHOLE


cc: Registrar,
cc: Director, CENFED
cc: Dean, COLMANS

My Query

An idiot was posted to my office and for some reason, he has decided that he will make life uncomfortable for me.He was posted there a month or so ago. He asked me if i could speak Yoruba and I said no, now he speaks only yoruba.
I was not too well, and i missed two days of work. He used it as an excuse to show he was vindictive and he gave me a query.
He wrote directly to The Registrar, but was stopped before he wrote to my bosses still copying The Registrar. I am serving in a University. This is the Letter he wrote originally.

ABSENCE FROM DUTY

I write to formally inform your Office Ma that the corps member, Miss Enuka Umeike, deployed to CENFED has not reported for work for two days (6th and 7th of June, 2007) without recourse to the Director of CENFED.

I wish to state that since deployed to the College, I have noted with dismay that the corps member has carefree attitudes to work. I have on several occasions counselled her against such attitudes.

Forwarded for your attention.

Thank you Ma.
ASSHOLE

Cc: Director, CENFED
Cc: Dean, COLMANS

Abuja

Na wa o. Boredom wan KILI me o.
Na im one of my better pallies come save me give me free ticket to the capital city.All expenses paid.
I am having a ball,but it is just for a night sha...
wish it was for a week.couldn't get more than a day off...

God Bless The World...NO EXCEPTION

I saw this on a car yesterday afternoon while going from Ikoyi to my abode in Akoka and it struck me.
I don't understand or rather, do not want to understand why anyone will ask The Lord to punish anyone. In believing that His Laws are perfect, we should not waste time sending out negative thoughts.
No one is perfect and hence we should understand when people who are also imperfect do stuff to piss us off.I am writing this to remind myself that I am not perfect and neither is anyone around me.
I need help to control the anger i feel for the antagonist of my last post.I dont't want to have to confront her because, I would prefer her to be cold and nasty to me and say all these things instead of being sickly sweet and stabbing me in the back.
I will try not to be nasty...no...I promise not to be nasty.

Who is the Runser of the Runs?

My friend kept something from me.
I am so upset with him.
I think I handled it well because I didn’t throw a tantrum or insult him; I simply told him he had lost my respect…He really hasn’t…I love him (I didn’t say I’m “in” love o)…he has been my friend through this horrid year of NYSC (National Youth Service Corps) a.k.a Now Your Suffering Continues.

I am just upset he didn’t tell me especially since he knew that me and the girl didn’t have a good relationship which started I guess when he started sleeping/dating her.
Now this same girl started dating another friend of mine that I like a lot.

Breakdown
She was dating OS and then dating SY and I have seen her with at least two other guys. I didn’t know about her and OS so I told him I didn’t like how she has become and generally used to tell him what I had noticed. I find it unbelievable because her ex boyfriend came and stayed over and he didn’t even show any signs of jealousy, at least to me.

Now they’ve both broken up and he has come clean with me after telling me what he said to her, I was annoyed he called her a slut and insulted that she said he should run to his school mother, ME, to console him.
She knows I am a weak spot for him…I am still mad at him…because he gave her opportunity to disrespect me for no reason.

I wonder why people are so petty when it comes to break ups. I like to be nice during break ups…especially if I am the dumped one…what is the point of being so upset and what is the point of not being friends afterwards? What a waste of time spent.

The girl has a habit of telling the guys not to tell anyone because she wants to keep it to herself so that people will not gossip about her. Yet it turns out she wants it quiet so that her housemates will not know her true color…she is an under G queen…abi I lie?

Or as a friend of mine says, many men dey put water for her fridge.

Punishment for Beastiality

I usually say I don't want to judge.
However, I will judge.What makes a man want to have carnal knowledge of a goat?
It is so maga disgusting.
I a sad that we couldn't have asked ROSE if CHARLES maltreated her during the course ot the "marriage".We know she cheated on him because she bore him a child which was a complete goat.I am not trying to be funny here o.I am totally disgusted

The Daddy Story.

I met Mr Nice Nose a while ago and we clicked. He is a Very hilarious fellow(nothing's up,I like Kabir). Anyways, I had to go to Lagos to make something ASAP, so he came to get me early on Wednesday morning to go have breakfast(we chicks are so cheap that some of us will gel because a guy pays you 5kobo attention).
Anyways, during breakfast, I said to him that if i were his mother, i would have been flogging him on a regular basis because he is still so full of mischief at this age.
He told me that he was punished several times by his folks, but the worst punishment was for when he was banished from civilization to his village for stealing 5grand from his parents(this was in the early 90s). He said he was to supervise the workers who were building his dad's house in the village.
He, of course kept himself busy by toasting the VILLAGE BELLE, who gelled(who nno like city boy?) He convinced her to come to his house on a sunday when they were sure everyone had gone to church. So that sunday morning, he told his grandmum that she was delaying him and left her to go to "church". He had left a window open so that he and his village belle could gain entry into the house.
The most amusing thing about the whole story was that when the girl was climaxing, she started screaming, DADDY, DADDY, A CHOM E ME RELEASE(daddy,daddy, I want to release.
I was so amused because he said that for years he was scared of being with any woman and that was the scariest thing that happened to him.

TIRED

I am so tired.
I am tired of PHCN formerly known as NEPA never providing me with electricity.
I am tired with PDP trying to make Nigeria a one-party state.
I am tired of people coming to give me some bull shit mandate of how they will help Nigeria when all they want to do is better enrich their pockets.
Why else would they rig if they had clean mandates?
I read in a Christian Magazine today, one published by The Apostolic Faith about how people use outward things to try to fool people into believing they are something they are not. We have a lot of those in my beloved country Nigeria.
F*&King HYPOCRICTES.
I wonder how we will change and move this country forward. I am beginning to look into not settling down in a country that is so unstable and yet pretends to be so stable.
My Head of State, Olusegun Obasanjo a.k.a Olisie ego Obulu sonjo, voted and said the elections thus far had been free and fair. At what time of the morning? And with all his armed officials clearing the way for him? Abeg o.
I stood on a frigging queue for how many hours?
In my home state, only one place has been said to have actually voted, yet, results have been announced and a governor to be named.
I AM SO TIRED.
Should I be like my monkeys, see no evil, hear no evil and speak no evil?
Maybe I should join the Niger Delta Youths to kill some of them. Don’t you think?

Electoral Fraud

Yesterday, i stood in the sun and in the rain to vote.
I waited for a whole four hours. From past noon till past four p.m to exercise my civic duty.
it was so annoying, but I refused to budge because I didn't want a situation where I know my conscience will disturb me for the next four years because I let an idiot get sworn in.
I think they wanted to test our patience.So that when those with no patience get tired, they will use their votes. Touts were there shouting party slogans and insulting each other.
I guess mine is all good because I voted.
My girl in the Ajah Axis, stood on the queue only to be told at 5 p.m that she had voted. She threw a fit. They used her vote for electoral fraud.the sad thing about all this is that the moron that is helping to rig, never gets a dime out of the plenty money these people steal. they just get some change and they feel fulfilled. It has to be noted that poverty has messed up this country big time.
I was forced to question the way some people bring up their children when they refused to follow simple instructions.
May The Lord Deliver Nigeria from Nigerians.

ELECTIONS

Today is the Gubernatorial elections in Nigeria.
I am on my way out to vote.
i am voting for Jimi Agbaje.
i am carrying out my civic Duty.
i hope you are dong the same as well.

For Love Or For Tribe?

This is the title of an article I read in TRUE LOVE (the publication with Ashionye as the cover girl).
It is the article before Segun Johnson’s article. The writer wrote about how most Nigerians marry for one’s tribe and not for love and how society raises an eyebrow at people who marry out of their ethnic groups.
I am an Ibo girl and I know how within the Ibo tribe, people go on and on about how people from Nnewi are somehow, and how people from Awka and Igboukwu are fetish.
I have dated only two Ibo men. Kay (who is actually Delta), and Chu who is from Mbaise and see how well those turned out.
I am told on and on about how Delta men cheat and maltreat their men. In Chu’s case, it is a bit sad (apart from him not knowing what/who he wanted till he lost me), my first cousin married an Mbaise man who battered her for almost twenty years till he threw her out and her eyes cleared (how would she have seen sef, her eyes were probably swollen).
I know many people from different tribes and I am amazed at the tribalism prevalent in the young people. For instance, Tiv people won’t marry Jukun for some stupid reason that I can’t remember.
I am tired of all the crap I hear about tribe. Does my being Ibo make me better than a Kanuri girl? Please people should get over their bullshit already.
I plan to be with someone for love and not for tribe. I will sooner learn his language than be in a loveless relationship.

For Love of One's Self

I have found that I love for one’s self is important to make it in even the day to day activities that one has to carry out.
Now, when one loves herself, she takes care of everything concerning herself and her environs.
Love transcends all. When you love someone and the person loves you back genuinely, you have this urge to look your absolute best for him and to let herself radiate in that love.

Now when one hates herself, she stays in abusive relationships under the guise of love. She allows herself to wallow in self pity. To look horrid and still manage to fool herself that that is love.

I love myself. I am not a Narcissist. Narcissism is not bad if it will make sure that you don’t let your self get abused.

I am a
NARCISSIST. I love MYSELF.

MEN YET AGAIN

I have read so may people's blogs with what they want from men. These one that has hit home the most is what yellow ibo girl said.
Kabir has nice teeth, and as a muslim is clean.
Girl, apart from being a yellow ibo girl too, we seem to be on the same page, except for the blue eyes and all that(not rascist but, once you go black, you can never go back).

Cupid? Not Yet

I am having serious thoughts about changing my name.
My new name will be Olivia Twist.
Because like Oliver Twist, I can never get enough.
Enough of what you may ask, but it is more like enough of who.
I am “in like”.
I am in like with my friend Kabir (I always thought he was unbelievably sexy).
I am a CYNIC…and for the 1st time since Kay En U, I am having a “relationship” (in quotation marks because we are taking it a day at a time).
It feels good to like someone who u can have conversation with. The only hitch to the “relationship”, is distance, however, I know it is nothing if we both really stay “in like”.
I kind of wish I could put his picture up so EVERYONE can see how unbelievably sexy he is (I’m not a very jealous person, I just don’t share).
I know I like him because I have taken note of everything. He has this scar on his knee (boys will be boys). He has a small but visible scar on his face, his eyebrows are perfectly shaped and he has lovely teeth (well set, like mine).
We’ll see how it goes.I really like him.

My Life Path Number

Your Life Path Number is 22

Your purpose in life is to use your power for good Of all the life paths, yours has the most innate power. Your power lies in your vision, and you must recruit others to help you in this vision. You are able to be a great idealist, but you still have the practicality to get things done. In love, you tend to be a big romantic - but you also tend to keep your distance. You have a lot of potential, and it's sometimes hard to live up to. Sometimes you just feel like slipping into obscurity and doing nothing. You tend to be prone to dramatic emotions, until you step back and look at things honestly.

What Is Your Life Path Number?

strange title

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Baroness Enuka the Larger of Wallop upon Deane Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Forgiveness

My friend wrote this...I feel for her...And this is a PICASSO...

HE MADE LOVE TO ME…
NOT JUST PHYSICALLY…
MY CELLS REACTED TO HIS TOUCH…
TO HIS VOICE…I KNEW HE WAS FOR REAL…
WE SPENT EVERY SECOND WE COULD AFFORD TO SPEND TOGETHER…
HE WAS MY LIFE AND I WAS HIS…
TOTALLY HIS…
AND HE WAS MINE AS WELL…TOTALLY MINE…
WE MADE A MISTAKE IN THE THREOS OF PASSION…
WE IGNORED THE USE OF THAT LITTLE RUBBER…
THAT LITTLE BIT OF RUBBER THAT WRECKED OUR RELATIONSHIP…

I WAS A WEEK LATE…
I KNEW I WAS PREGNANT…
HE STOOD BY ME…CLEANED MY TEARS…PROMISED TO BE WITH ME…
ASKED ME FOR A LITTLE TIME TO SORT OUT A FEW THINGS…
I WAITED…HE SAID NOTHING…
HE DOESN’T SAY MUCH WHEN HE IS THINKING…
I WAITED…WEEKS PASSED…THE SILENCE WAS KILLING ME…
I SAW HIM EVERY SINGLE DAY…WE TALKED ABOUT EVERYTHING…
SAVE OUR BABY GROWING IN MY WOMB…

ONE MORNING, AFTER JOGGING, I TOOK A BATH AND A TAXI…
I WENT TO THE ISLAND AND I DID IT…I HAD AN ABORTION…
I CRIED SO HARD THAT THE DOCTOR MADE ME CALL HIM…
I HAD PLANNED TO SAY THAT MY PERIOD JUST SHOWED…
HE CAME AND CALLED HIS BOSS AND SAID HE NEEDED THE DAY OFF…
THAT I WAS VERY ILL…

HE CRIED…HE CRIED…HE ASKED ME WHY I DIDN’T GIVE HIM TIME…
HE HAD ASKED FOR TIME…
HE HAD PROMISED TO BE WITH ME NO MATTER WHAT…
I ASKED HIM TO PUT HIMSELF IN MY SHOES…
FOUR WEEKS…I WAS SCARED TO DEATH…AND HE HAD SAID NOTHING…
HE CRIED…AND CRIED AND BROUGHT OUT AN ENVELOPE…

THE ENVELOPE THAT MADE ME REALISE I DIDN’T DESERVE HIS LOVE…
HE HAD SOLD ALL THE SHARES HE HAD…EVERYTHING…
ALL LIQUID…
SO HE COULD PRESSURIZE OUR FAMILIES…
INTO HAVING A FAST WEDDING BECAUSE HE HAD PROMISED…
TO LOVE ME FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE…
I WEPT FOR NOT TRUSTING HIM…
I WEPT FOR MY LOST CHILD…OUR LOST CHILD…
HE LEFT ME…
FOUR MONTHS LATER…

SEPTEMBER 30TH…
THE DAY I MURDERED MY CHILD AND OUR LOVE…
I SEE A CHILD…
I CAN’T MAKE OUT IF IT IS A BOY OR GIRL…
JUST A CHILD…
WITH HIS LISP…
AND MY NOSE…

IT HAS TAKEN ME FIVE YEARS TO FORGIVE MYSELF…
TO FORGIVE HIM…
WE WERE YOUNG…
FAR TOO YOUNG TO BE SO IN LOVE…

I KNOW HE IS READING YOUR BLOG…
I KNOW HE KNOWS IT’S ME…
I KNOW HE STILL LOVES ME…
HE KNOWS I STILL LOVE HIM…

FORGIVE ME…FORGIVE ME…FORGIVE ME…

JUDGE ME NOT

Friday, October 13, 2006
JUDGE ME NOT
I wonder why people judge...
They judge themselves by the clothes they wear..
The color of their hair...their shoes...how pretty their faces are...
I am a beautiful woman...not a psych..
I am a beautiful woman with a brain...not a psych as well..
I have lived my life in a fear of sorts...
I am perpertually judged..
I have nice clothes..nice shoes...look put together..does it mean that a man should be to afraid to walk up to me even when I am giving him the Greenest of Green lights?
Here goes my story...
I met a young man in a concentration camp i was confined to for three weeks(it was not to bad minus my lung infection and my face breaking out).
We clicked...I am a mature 26 year old(that might be a psych),i dont meet many young men i can talk to without wondering why school fees were paid for them..
I didn't want to push it..I believe people do things when they are in confinement that they might regret...
We saw quite a bit of each other..like we had a choice really..i always teased him..my mistake as it turns out..especially about girls..who he both denied to have liked..
I was amused that he reacted the way he did..Body language said he liked me...lips never moved for vocal chords to say so..
We left confinement and kept in touch..we are about 100kms aways from each other..
Anyway,there was this particular girl who i heard through the grape vine that had the hots for him..i told him..
He said that i shouldn't let her know that i had told him(like i planned to)...
I saw him a couple of times while we were sorting ourselves out at our respective places of work..
My girls teased me that my competition had encrouched finally...I laughed..I mean he had said he wasn't into her...

FAST FORWARD
About two weeks after confinement..he tells me he is dating her...hmmm...
He said things happen that I won't understand..hmmm..
I still have a brain and i understand certain things..
She spends a lot of time in your house...does the boy is mine with people(acts cold when other girls are around)...
So things happen..in plain English..He sleeps with her and as a gentleman starts to date her..
Don't get me wrong o...it can work out o..i think she is a nice girl(i bet she doesn't think the same of me..women don't like me..story for another day)....
My problem is that he admits he likes me,but was to scared he didnt stand a chance?
That pissed me the hell off..you haven't tried and you are beating yourself up...
Well...i know he will read this post..I am glad he will...
You stood a mighty chance..you lost it..do i have to seem like a bimbo in distress?
I hope that through venting my vexation,i will exhale completely and move on..
I am after all still to be judged...

The Heart of the Matter

Thursday, October 19, 2006
The Heart Of The Matter
Hey people..this is my new favorite song..i listened to it courtesy of a great girl..DORIS OGALE
it made me think..and realise we don't have to hold on to stuff..
it also helped me when my girl told me she ran into my ex at Silverbird with a babe..oh well...it is expected
It was originally done by DON HENLEY

The Heart Of The Matter
I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone
She said you found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside love's open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understandAll the things I thought I knew,
I'm learning againI've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the MatterBut my will gets weakAnd my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgivenessForgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertainT
here's a yearning undefined...
People filled with rageWe all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age
The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness
They're the very things we kill,
I guessPride and competition cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us,
Doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you,
BabyThe more I know, the less I understandAll the things I thought I figured out,
I have to learn againI've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgivenessForgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you inside

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
ForgivenessEven if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weakAnd the ashes will scatterSo I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

To Serve and Protect with Integrity

I wrote this post on Nov. 14th 2006.


This happened between the hours of 3:15p.m and 6p.m on Friday 10th November 2006…
Anyone who resides in Nigeria will know that this phrase describes d biggest joke of our economy… THE NIGERIA POLICE…
They are the stupidest bunch of people put together in the entire country…
Their main goal is to harass the citizenry of the country SHAMELESSLY…
In the Police Force in my dear country Nigeria, we have the MOPOL (mobile police)….
Now don’t get me wrong o…they are not all fools, but a large majority are…
I was traveling to Benin for a friends’ wedding…I was in a vehicle with two lieutenants of The Nigerian army…
We were in the middle of nowhere (I later found out that it is just before OWENA in ONDO state)…
We were approaching a checkpoint (most of them are illegal)…when a MOPOL pointed his gun at us…
Both lieutenants reprimanded him and told him it was enough to court marshal him if he was in the Military…
The idiot started screaming and then pointed the gun at OKPOSEN and cocked it…
He then raised it slightly above Okposen’s head and shot….
My heart skipped several beats….
He then pointed the gun at Okposen’s stomach and threatened to kill him and line him up as a thief…
He shouted “you know see say eyes dey red”? While he shot…
They threatened to take us to their station and we agreed…
One of the men came to beg us… he knew they had pushed their luck as far as they could…
They insulted us all thoroughly and even threatened to slap me…
I instantly reminded them that it is against the laws of Nigeria to hit anyone with glasses…
The next thing we saw, they jumped into their S.U.V (sports utility vehicle commonly called a JEEP in 9ja) and sped off…
I had called an uncle of mine who is a commissioner of police in Nigeria, he advised me to take down their vehicle number because they were wearing bullet proofs…and I couldn’t get their identification numbers….
We followed them and lost them, but decided to get to the Area Command where we knew they came from…
They denied having fired..and denied that they brought out a crate of Gulder(an alcoholic beverage) from the bush before they ran off…
The bastard that shot at Okposen called him SIR and I almost died because of the irony…
This is only one of the many incidences of corruption that the police commit.
How can we go through life that way?
It is disgusting that they are so unstable yet are allowed to man our roads and put us all in danger…
How may I ask have they protected or served my motherland with integrity?
By cocking his gun?
Or by shooting?
Or threatening to kill and line Okposen up as a thief….

BLACK AND PROUD

I wrote this on Nov. 28,2006.


I am half amused at the way the “western culture” has seeped into ours and left us in my opinion half stupid…
I am not saying that all the influences received are bad, I am only saying that we should be able to tell which is good and which is bad…
I love my hair for instance…I cut it off a while ago and grew it natural…my hair is truly African…beautiful with really tight curls…although I have now relaxed it with chemicals, it doesn’t make my natural hair ugly…
I am a very very curvy black woman…with plenty hips and a nice big bottom (as if I can see it)…I have a full bust and a rounded tummy…I look nice in clothes and I feel absolutely gorgeous in my native wear or any African print…
Now I am considered to be an OROBO (fat) and I am told by health experts that I must weigh 60 kilos in order to be healthy…plus or minus that will mean being a size 10...hmmm…where will my breasts go? or my hips?
When I get pregnant, my beautiful hips will hold and love my baby…when I get into labour, it will expand beautifully to give my baby space to struggle into this world…yet I am told that the only way to be attractive is to lose my hips…
And I wonder….
How will my body cradle my child? How will my cervix expand enough? How will my breasts be?
I am not saying that it is bad to be LEPA (slim), I am saying that every woman has a right to be different…
I have never and hopefully will never be termed as vulgar in the way I dress; my breasts are well hidden, and yet can be seen…
All in all, do I have to be like Victoria Beckham to be termed as beautiful? She looks good in her own way, but I prefer Patti LaBelle, she is a curvaceous black chick…
I do not plan to have a caesarian section to have my baby with my womb accessed via bikini cut so that I can show my body off to all and sundry in my bikini…
I want to push and feel the full impact of labour…
I want to fill my clothes and look stunning when I step out…
I never want to wear Banana Republic’s size 0 jeans (tufiakwa)…
I love my size 16 jeans…
I love my breasts…
I love my hips…
I love myself…
Period

ARE WE TRULY ALL BIMBOS?

I had a Previous Blog. Pretty Private. I am Deleting it, so i am moving the posts i liked.


People na wa o….
The longer I live the more I believe that Nigerian women are losing substance…
You meet a beautiful girl…when you try to have a conversation with her, you will be amazed at the extent of her extremely low IQ….
A friend told me that his niece had written WAEC (west African examination council) exams so many times that he was worried that she had no brain. Till he found her scrapbook that had about 500 songs…now we know why she is busy…I mean the lyrics of songs are far more important than her degree…
I look around and all I see are young women trying to look like the chicks in magazines with the LV bags and the Chanel frames and it makes me wonder…is that all there is to life? Or can there possibly be more to MAC powders and makeup?
Now do not get me wrong at all o…I like make up…I like nice things…but that is not all there is to this life…I expect more, so give more…or maybe I am just nonchalant because The Good Lord Created me Beautiful…I have never had cause to bleach my skin to look more attractive…or go naked to get a man’s attention…I am grateful for my lifestyle…even if it a bit lackadaisical…if we are all this dumb(women),then I wonder what kind of human souls we will attract when we get pregnant…or should I pass a bit of the blame to men who encourage women to be airheads? Hmmm…food for thought…
I always remember a song when I feel so sorry for the moral decadence in the world…I don’t know who wrote or sang it. I will try to find out….
Here it goes (anyone who love coca cola adverts like me must know it o)
I’ll like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love…
Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow white turtle doves…
This is all I remember…
Laters….

I WONDER

I wonder how life would have been if I had been born in a different family…
I wonder how life would have been I was born in a different country...
I wonder how life would have been if I had different siblings...

I wonder how life would have been if I had been born with a health defect…
I wonder what life would have been if I had graduated at the right time…
I wonder what life would have been if I had a baby at 22…

I wonder how life would have been if I had married a 17…
I wonder how life would be if no one ever had an abortion…
I wonder how life would have been if I had been able to love the same man for the rest of my life...

I wonder how life would be if no one ever broke someone’s heart…
I wonder what life would be if everyone was loved back by the person he/she loved…
I wonder how life would be if everyone lived in accordance with the laws of The Lord…
I wonder…don’t you?

My Lost Love Letter

Life is amusing. I thought about this letter that I wrote about 4yrs ago to Kay eN U that I never sent and figured that I threw it away.

I was leaving my parents’ place in Lagos to go back to my HELL HOLE (OTA), and the strap of my bag gave way, so I decided to take some UGLY bag I dislike. I opened the bag and the inner zip to make sure I was taking something I didn’t need, lo and behold the letter that I thought I had torn and thrown away.

I bought the stationary years ago in a shop in Unilag because it was Lilac and had matching envelopes and used it to send letters (I am old fashioned, I like writing). I used the last 3 pages and the last Envelope to write the letter. I never addressed it because I figured that I would see him and give it to him, I didn’t (which is why I obviously still have the letter).

I even wrote what time I began writing 9:37p.m and I wrote till 10:17p.m.

I feel quite bad, I read the letter and I cried. My feelings were too intense for my age. He was young as well, so I forgive myself and him for all the mistakes and wrong decisions that we took during our relationship.

I will send him the letter today. I will send it to his office and I will send him an sms to tell him that I sent him a letter. I just looked at my wallet. It is a wallet I bought for him when I went to TOGO for a holiday. I attended the ECOWAS trade fair and I bought it from the MALI stand. Camel leather. It cost good money, but he is worth much more.

Well, whatever. I will run and buy stamps and a new envelope and put in my letter and post it today.

I wrote this at the end of my letter to Kay eN U,
“it makes you feel good when someone tells
you they love you, but they feel worse when
you don’t tell them if you do.”

I wonder if he ever reads my blog….
I wonder if he ever thinks about me in a positive way…
I wonder if I will actually ever meet anyone who I will love as much…
I wonder.

Is Joker man a Joker?

Jeez man! was just listening to Unilag FM and they played a JOker whose name happened to be Joker man!
He sang a song called WOMAN NA WA.
H.
Wetin dey do all my naija brodas sef? why dem no go open mouth talk true? no be all babe dey find money. wetin sef. na so the something vex me reach o.
I picked up my phone and asked a friend who is in the media who his promoter is.
Kingsley Ogoro. I like the guy, so i no go to yap THE JOKER till i hear some more.
The JOKER guy is a true representation of the word WOWO.Yet for a STRANGE REASON,I no too mind the music.

Marriage and Responsiblity

The issue that annoys me the most at the moment (ok, most of the time), is mislabeling marriage with responsibility. I am single and I am proud that I am leaving the truth and not a lie.

I know married couples that leave A LOT TO BE DESIRED.

When I was a teenager, my cousin lived in a house close to mine and my siblings and I frequented there quite often. Her neighbour was a fat pot bellied man who I wondered how he got his not so fine, loud mouthed wife to marry him. To my knowledge, he never went to work and he was an incessant flirt. He never chased me sha o. anyway, how could he? Chinwe might have killed him.

His wife was transferred to Abuja, and his kids lived with him in Lagos. He was a poor father. I mean what kind of man will bring his skanks to his house when his kids are there? The truth is that children never forget. And I mean NEVER. Now can that man be said to be responsible? Hell no.

Now I don’t want it to seem like only men are irresponsible, so I will share gist about a woman. She married a man who lives in America, we were still in Unilag then, and she was pregnant and flaunted it all over the place, good for her. She had her child, but that didn’t change her o… oh no, it sure as hell didn’t. A few weeks after the birth of her baby, I heard her talking to her cohorts a.k.a moremi runs chicks, “IKE M NA KO M OKO”(roughly, I am Horny), one of them PAM (she’s dead), replied “KPO TATA HU NA LA GI MBU NO MARIERE(call the small boy who you used to sleep with that is in Mariere hall).” Guess what? She did. She was my course mate, and she was LOUSY as hell, she actually told us she slept with the guy?

Now, because these two clowns wear rings on the fourth finger of their left hands, they are called RESPONSIBLE. This is what I complained about in my post F@%K SOCIETY.

What Baby are you?

I read this on Unnaked's blog. it is interesting. i am a February baby, and it is not all true.

OZAVESHE

I thought I could do a blog where I am unknown, but what the hell, I don’t mind being known. I will still SCREAM, known or unknown.

In the past few months, I have made a few friends that I think I will keep for life. Only one has a blog (yet). OZAVESHEHe is a really nice (fine) young man.

He wrote about me on his blog. I have told him that he has a crush on me and there really is no reason for him to be shy about it. I have a crush on an older man, so there is nothing wrong with him having a crush on me as well.

I met OZAVESHE OZAVESHEin my NYSC concentration camp. He was flirting with my girl Kemi (I went to ISL and UNILAG with her and hardly spoke to her. I found out in camp that she is a sport). Ozaveshe can flirt. I think the most attractive thing about him is the way he laughs. He sounds kinda naughty and as if he is up to absolutely no good.

You have to give it this young man when it comes to flirting. I watched him flirting with my girl, he held her head very close by holding head by the side, and I almost died of laughter. He is a young man who has grown up with his 2 sisters and mother, he is sensitive to women, and his intentions can be misread.

He is quite attractive (he is not photogenic).

He says I talk with my eyes and that I am the FLIRT (a defense mechanism if I have ever heard one). I like him because he is easy to flow with. We can talk about a lot of things, in fact everything.

I am quite vocal, and he is as well. He writes well and I think him using the name “the cunning linguist” is appropriate because he reads a lot. He is a very well spoken as well, so it is not a shock that he writes well.

I read this quote today and it inspired me to write about Ozaveshe because he is someone who has made use of this great piece of advice.

It is chiefly through books that we enjoy intercourse with superior minds. In the best books, great men talk to us, give us their most precious thoughts, and pour their souls into ours. God be thanked for books. They are the voices of the distant and the dead, and make us the heirs of the spiritual life of past age. Books are true levelers. They give to all who will faithfully use them, the society, the spiritual presence, of the best and greatest of our race.
WILLIAM ELLERY CHANNING

Trust

A WORLD WITHOUT FRIENDS IS LIKE THE WORLD WITHOUT WATER. FRIENDS ARE LIKE GLASS, ONCE BROKEN IT IS HARD TO FIX. SO KEEP YOUR FRIENDS LIKE YOU WILL KEEP YOUR LIFE.

I got this quotation a long time ago and I saved it on my phone. I got it after some people who were meant to be my girls went and said crap about me. One I didn’t give a rat’s ass about because she was a bit off…
Well, the other one pissed me off because she was my friend form primary school, and I felt she was just wrong for doing that. I decided that she is stupid, and I have started talking to her, but the thing is that I will always be wary and I wonder if there is any point being friends with someone that you can’t trust.
Trust is so essential in life. Trust between you and your girls, between you and your parents, between you and your siblings, between you and your friends, just name it.
Trust is something we all deserve till we prove we don’t deserve it.
Hmmm…think about it.

THIS GOES OUT TO ALL MY BABY MAMAS

My niece Olaitan loves that song,but it didn't inspire this post.
I was listening to Shania Twain’s Album Up!, and I listened to number 16, I Ain’t Going Down and it has inspired this blog to all SINGLE Mamas in the world.
It is about a girl who had a baby at 15 and decided not to succumb to society pressures and damned the world for the love of her baby.
I have watched a woman I love go through it; she loves her child so much that she says that The Lord will punish her if she fails to take care of the child properly.
So this post goes out to all the Single Baby Mamas in the world who have decided to take care of their gifts from The Lord….
Big up to all the Single Baby Mamas in the World.
Thumbs up to all the single mamas in blogsphere.
I know only one, so big up to Head And Around Me.

Crush On

I have a terrible crush.
Terrible because I don’t see why I should have a crush at this age and because he is married.
The thing is that I know I won’t do anything about it. He is a very jovial and extremely likeable. I am sure his wife is a happy person. He talks about her all the time, her achievements are his and for him, vice versa.
I like his hair sef…na wa 4 me o.
He is a nice looking man and I hope that my husband looks like him when he is that age and a young girl will like him and be smart enough to do nothing about it.
I mean, the guy looks GOOD.
Although for some reason, I have looked for his flaws so that the crush will die. But I have decided not to do so anymore. I feel it is healthy to have a crush sha.